How should Christians handle it when they have disagreements with one another? In this message we seek to glean helpful information from the story of Paul and Barnabas’ sharp disagreement.
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When Christians Disagree
Acts 15:36-41
There is a story of two porcupines in the freezing north woods, who huddled together to keep warm. The only problem was that when they got too close, their quills pricked each other, and so they had to separate from one another. They needed each other, but when they got too close, the needled each other.
You know, Christians in the church are a lot like porcupines. We need each other. However, the closer you get to another Christian the more likely it is that you’re going to get pricked!
Because the Church is made up of fallen and redeemed sinners, there is no perfect church. There isn’t even a single perfect Christian in any church! Because we are all weak and imperfect, disagreements are bound to occur. This may happen in the Church, and it may happen in the Family. I believe it is good for us to take the time to learn how we should respond when those situations occur. We can apply what we learn today both in our marriages, families and in the Church.
In Acts 15:36-41 mentions one such disagreement. Let’s read the text.
36 After some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us return and visit the brethren in every city in which we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are.” 37 Barnabas wanted to take John, called Mark, along with them also. 38 But Paul kept insisting that they should not take him along who had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. 39 And there occurred such a sharp disagreement that they separated from one another, and Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus. 40 But Paul chose Silas and left, being committed by the brethren to the grace of the Lord. 41 And he was traveling through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.
Let’s take a close look at this disagreement to see if we can learn from it.
1. Who Was Involved In the Disagreement?
Paul and Barnabas. Now that’s fascinating. That gives us some important insights.
They both shared the same theology. We know that because when they got back to Antioch, they met a group of men who insisted that the Gentiles had to be circumcised and observe the Law of Moses to be saved, and both men repudiated that as false teaching. They were agreed together that the Judaizers were promoting false teaching and must be opposed. In many respects, they were two peas in a pod. Theologically, they were of one mind. This disagreement was not over theology or doctrine. It was over a practical decision that had to be made. Should they take John Mark along on the second journey, after he had defected on the first journey.
They both had labored together for Christ for many years. Remember that it was Barnabas that first persuaded the saints in Jerusalem to accept Paul. Previous to this, they wanted nothing to do with him because of his murderous reputation. Later, Paul and Barnabas both shared the teaching role in the church in Antioch. Then they had both served as missionaries in various cities on their first journey. After the journey was completed, they both traveled together to Jerusalem and at the Council, stood up and told what signs and wonders God had done through them. They were tight theologically and they were tight missionally.
They were both absolutely committed to Christ. Their commitment to Christ cannot be questioned. Both proved this commitment by risking their necks for the cause of Christ. They had faced an angry sorcerer, irate mobs, and a stoning, but they continued to serve the Lord. Even after this disagreement, both of them continued to serve the Lord, Paul in one sphere and Barnabas in another.
So, this is not two enemies who are having a sharp disagreement. This is two friends, who have served the Lord together as friends and co-laborers for many years.
If Paul and Barnabas could have a sharp disagreement that would lead them to separate from one another in ministry, then there is the real possibility of you and I having a disagreement with just about anyone in the Church that could end up separating us. We need to be on guard against that possibility!
2. Who was Right and who was Wrong in the Disagreement?
There is a sense in which both men were right.
Paul was right in that he was a brave and bold warrior for Christ. He did not flinch in the face of danger or even death. And Paul needed other men on his missionary team of the same character. John Mark had deserted them on the first journey (15:38). Paul was right to make sure he chose the right kind of men to accompany their team. Paul was focused on the Mission. He was driven to accomplish what God had called him to do.
Barnabas was right in that he wanted to be gracious and patient with John Mark, and work with him to develop godly character and a true servant of the Lord. The Lord is gracious, compassionate and patient with us, and wants us to reflect those character qualities to others. Barnabas was focused on the man. He was passionate about restoring his nephew to ministry and usefulness to the Lord.
Both Paul and Barnabas were considering portions of Biblical truth. Paul could quote “No man after putting his hand to the plow and looking back is fit for the kingdom of God.” Barnabas could quote, “put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving each other…” (Col.3:12-13).
Paul’s goal – to accomplish the mission. Barnabas’ goal – to restore John Mark. However here they run into a situation in which these goals collide. Paul felt it would jeopardize the mission if he took John Mark with them. Barnabas felt he could not seek the good of his nephew if he didn’t bring him with him on the mission. Something had to give.
There is a sense in which both men were wrong.
Paul so focused on the mission that he didn’t consider John Mark’s sanctification and growth in grace. Barnabas so focused on John Mark that he was willing to allow the Mission to potentially suffer.
In 1 Corinthians 13:5, Paul says that love “is not provoked.” The Greek word for provoked is the same word in the verb form here in Acts 15:39 translated “sharp disagreement.” Paul says that love does not do what he and Barnabas did. They were provoked toward one another. Both stubbornly dug in their heels and were unwilling to concede in the least to the other man’s point of view. Both fell into sin. I believe there was probably some sinful anger in the whole situation. The narrative does not sound like they showed mutual respect, love and courtesy and decided to disagree agreeably. No, they had a sharp disagreement. Probably raised voices, and anger flaring.
Remember this – a person’s strength can become his weakness. What do I mean by that?
Paul’s strength was his unwavering commitment to serve Christ no matter the cost. He even publicly confronted Peter about his hypocrisy in withdrawing from the Gentiles when the Judaizers appeared. Paul was not a coward. He was driven and committed to doing the work of the Lord no matter what. Yet, maybe that strength became his weakness in that he was unwilling to consider that perhaps the Lord might want him to give John Mark a second chance, and help to disciple him.
Barnabas’ strength was his ability to lift up the weak, fainthearted and the underdog. He was the one who gave Paul a chance when everyone else wanted to keep him out of the church. He was good at showing grace and compassion to those who had failed. Yet, that strength became his weakness at times. Because of Barnabas gracious and compassionate nature, he failed to confront Peter when he was living in hypocrisy. That was left for Paul to do.
So, what is your strength. Maybe your strength is Biblical discernment. Be careful, because that strength may lead you to becoming judgmental. Maybe your strength is in accepting others. You need to be careful because that strength could cause you to be overly tolerant in accepting sinful behavior or serious doctrinal error. Know yourself.
So, who was right and who was wrong. That’s a very difficult question to answer. When all things are considered, it seems that Paul may have the strongest case for making the right decision. Why would I say that? Well, because of what Acts 15:39-40 say. “Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus. But Paul chose Silas and left, being committed by the brethren to the grace of the Lord.” The brethren in Antioch committed Paul and Silas to the grace of the Lord. This signifies that they affirmed their mission and sent them out. Nothing is said about the brethren committing Barnabas and Mark to the grace of the Lord. It seems, at least, that the church sided more with Paul than with Barnabas.
3. What was the Outcome of the Disagreement?
A Doubling of Evangelistic Ministry. What Satan means for evil, God means for good! As a result of this sharp disagreement, we now have two missionary teams instead of one. We have twice as many people preaching the gospel in twice as many locations in the same amount of time. God has just took something that looked really bad and turned it around to produce something very good.
Restored Relationships. Paul will later write to the Colossians and tell them to welcome Mark if he comes. At the end of Paul’s life, he writes in 2 Timothy 4:11, “Pick up Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for service.”
Not only that, but in 1 Corinthians 9:6 Paul wrote “or do only Barnabas and I not have a right to refrain from working?” In that statement, Paul was writing supportively of Barnabas ministry and his right to receive the financial support of those he ministered to.
So, all things indicate that though there may have been a quick eruption of anger which brought about a separation, in the end they were restored to a right relationship with each other, and there was mutual respect and admiration for one another.
All of this just goes to show the truth of Romans 8:28, “and we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
Conclusion:
1. We need to distinguish between two types of Christian Unity
The Bible speaks of two different kinds of unity. Let’s look at them.
Shared Life:
Ephesians 4:3 “being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Notice that Paul calls this the unity of the Spirit. Whenever the Holy Spirit indwells someone, he has instant spiritual unity with every other person on the planet that is indwelt by the Spirit. Notice also, that we are not called to create this unity. We are told to preserve it by manifesting humility, gentleness, patience, tolerance and love (Eph.4:2). So, if you are a true Christian, you already possess the unity of the Spirit with every other true Christian in the world.
Shared Light:
Ephesians 4:13 “until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.” This kind of unity is the unity of the faith. It has to do with the knowledge of the Son of God. The faith referred to here has to do with a body of doctrine taught in the Word of God and passed down from generation to generation to God’s people. We are not told that we already possess this unity. We are told that gifted men are to equip the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ UNTIL we all attain to the unity of the faith. In other words, we are in process when it comes to this unity. We are striving to understand the Scripture and share it in common with other believers.
You can possess the unity of the Spirit and not possess the unity of the faith. We can have shared life with other believers but not have shared light. And, that’s usually what causes so much division in the church. We may not always be able to experience the unity of the faith, but we always experience the unity of the Spirit with other believers. Until we do experience the unity of the faith, we need to be patient, respectful, and loving toward one another.
2. We Shouldn’t Let Disagreements Cause Us To Stop Serving the Lord
This is actually a somewhat common problem in the church. Two individuals get into a heated disagreement, or their personalities clash with one another, and one of them ends up leaving the church, rather than stay and work it out. And often, when they leave the church, they end up staying away from church altogether because they have been wounded.
However, we don’t find that happening with Paul and Barnabas. Yes, they had a heated argument. Yet, they both continued to serve the Lord. Paul took Silas and served the Lord by launching out on a second missionary journey. Barnabas served the Lord by taking John Mark and going to Cyprus.
I pray that if or when we encounter a disagreement in the church, we will not be quick to run away, and especially that we would not stay away from the church for an extended period of time. Yes, there are sinners in the church. They are everywhere. We are one of them! We need to learn to deal with personality issues and disagreements when they arrive rather than running away.
3. In a Disagreement, We Should Seek To Affirm Areas of Agreement:
Usually in an honest disagreement among Christians, both parties will have some Biblical truth on their side. In Paul’s case, he could have quoted “no man after putting his hand to the plow and looking back is fit for the kingdom of God.” In Barnabas’ case he could have quoted Ps. 145:8, “The Lord is gracious and merciful; slow to anger and great in lovingkindness.” He’s the God of the second chance and we should extend grace and patience as well. Both had Scripture. Paul should acknowledge Barnabas’s truth. Barnabas should acknowledge Paul’s truth. Even if they decided later they could not work together, they could still affirm the truth the other person held to.
Also, we do not read, “Paul was traveling through Syria and Cilicia, telling all the churches how wrong Barnabas was.” Rather, he went around strengthening the churches (15:41). There is no indication that Paul and Barnabas became rivals or competed with each other after this. Both men were committed to know Christ in a deeper way and to proclaim Christ to every person. As I said, every time after this that Paul mentions Barnabas or Mark, he does so in a kind and supportive manner.
So, if we will apply this to our life, it will go a long way when Christians disagree. Affirm the truth your brother is speaking, even if you have to disagree when it comes to other areas.
4. In A Disagreement, We Need To Conduct Ourselves as Christians
If the person you disagree with is teaching dangerous false doctrine, you may even have to rebuke him severely (Titus 1:13). However, if we are honest we have to agree that most of the time our disagreements are not about these matters. And in most cases, we can agree to disagree agreeably.
Yes, we may disagree, and we may passionately disagree. But that does not give us the right to be harsh, judgmental, slanderous, or call them names. These things do not flow from the Spirit of God. There may be a time when you have to strongly disagree with someone, but you can do it from a godly, loving, and respectful spirit.
So in any disagreement, if it is doctrinal we need to decide whether this issue is a core doctrine or a peripheral doctrine. If it is a peripheral doctrine, or simply a practical matter, we must be very careful to manifest love and grace toward those we disagree with.
At the end of the day the important thing is not that we can prove that we are right and they are wrong, but that we treat one another the way God has commanded us to. Amen?
Let’s pray.
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