What is the duty of children toward their parents? In this message, Pastor Brian speaks directly to the kids of The Bridge, and shares the Word with them as to what God requires of them and why.
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The Duty of Children – Pt 2
Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, this morning I have a sermon just for you. There is a lot the adults can learn too, but it is primarily for you. So, I want you to do your best to pay attention and listen carefully so you can learn. The God who made you, has something to say to you this morning. If you will listen to what He is saying, and obey Him, you will be much happier than if you disobey Him.
We are in a short mini-series on The Christian Family. In Ephesians 5:18, Paul commands the Ephesians to be filled with the Spirit, and then begins to describe the results of being Spirit-filled. The last result is that a person will be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. From 5:22 through 6:9, Paul shows what it looks like for us to be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. He tells wives to submit to their husbands, children to obey their parents, and slaves to obey their masters. Paul shows how being subject to one another works its way out in marriage, family, and work. He begins with the most intimate of all relationships (marriage), and works outward to the least intimate (slaves and masters). He always begins with the person who must submit. When Paul talks about marriage, he begins with wives because they are the ones who must submit to their husbands. He begins with children because they must submit to parents. He begins with slaves, because they must submit to their masters.
Two weeks ago, we drew out a couple of implications from Ephesians 6:1. The first implication is that Paul expected the children to be together with their parents when they worshiped, and hear the Word of God. He expected them to hear his letter read to them. They were not segregated off to Children’s Church or Sunday School, but were with their parents. We believe there is divine wisdom in that. The ordinary way that God usually saves people, children and adults, is through the preaching of the gospel. We should want to expose our children to the preaching of the gospel as soon as they are able to understand some of the concepts that are being preached. Another benefit of children worshiping with their parents is that they see how seriously their own parents view the worship of God. They see them singing, sharing testimonies, sharing Scripture, listening to the Word and taking notes, and observing the Lord’s Supper. Sometimes what they see their parents live out is even more powerful than what they hear being spoken. So, here at The Bridge, we are encouraging parents to bring their children with them into the worship service as soon as the child is able to understand something of what is going on, probably between 5 and 7 years of age.
The second implication we drew from the text is that children can be saved. Paul assumes that many of the children who heard his letter read to them were saved, because he tells them to obey their parents in the Lord. I applied this truth by saying we must beware of believing our children don’t need to be saved, or not evangelizing them at all, or using unbiblical methods to evangelize them.
Now, who is God speaking to in verse 1? The text is clear – “Children, obey your parents.” God has something to say to children. Now, who were these children? How old were they? I think it is safe to assume they were old enough to understand what Paul wrote to them, and young enough to be still living at home.
Now children, this morning we are going to examine what the Bible teaches is your duty. We will be focusing in on Ephesians 6:1-3. As we do so, we are going to ask ourselves “What Does God Require You To Do?” and then “Why Does God Require You To Do It?” We are going to look at the What and the Why questions this morning.
Now, with that in mind, let’s look at the first question.
1. What Does God Command You To Do?
God requires you to do two things: obey and honor your parents. Obedience is the action, and honor is the attitude that produces the action.
OBEY
The word “obey” teaches us something very important. It teaches us that parents are in authority over their children. They are in charge. They are the ones that set and enforce the rules in the home. Now, that doesn’t mean that parents are better than children. Every person in the world, no matter how old or young, or what color skin he has, is equal in God’s sight. On the one hand, all people are equal before God, because all people have been made in God’s image. However, on the other hand, God has given different people different jobs. The job of parents is to have authority over their children, and to tell them what they can and can’t do. The job of children is to obey and do what their parents tell them to do. The word “obey” literally has the meaning of “to hear under.” It means to listen and then do what you are told. Kids, when your Mom and Dad talk to you, you need to listen. If you tune your parents out when they are trying to talk to you, you are sinning. When Mom and Dad talk to you, you shouldn’t be thinking of why they are wrong, and how you can argue with them. You should be listening so that you can obey.
Present Tense. The verb “obey” in the Greek is a present tense command. When a verb is in the present tense, it usually speaks of an activity that is continual or ongoing. That’s exactly what Paul means here. When he says, “Children, obey your parents”, he means, “Children, go on continually obeying your parents.” Colossians is the sister epistle to Ephesians, and in Colossians 3:20 the Bible says, “Children, be obedient to your parents in all things.” It is just like what God says to wives in Ephesians 5:24, “But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” God requires you, children, to obey your parents in everything. That means you must obey always. You can’t say, “Well, I obeyed my parents yesterday. I think it’s okay if I don’t obey today.” No, God’s will for you is that you obey in everything, always. So, is it ever okay for a child to disobey his parents? Yes, but it is very rare, and will probably never happen to you. It is only acceptable for you to disobey your parents when to obey them would mean you would have to disobey God. God’s authority is even greater than a parent’s authority. So, if you were born into a Jewish family, and came to trust in Jesus Christ, your Mom or Dad might tell you to never worship Jesus. In that case, you would have to disobey them, because if you didn’t, you would be disobeying God. If you were converted and planned on getting baptized, and your parents forbade you to get baptized, you would have to disobey. If Mom and Dad commanded you to tell lies, in order to cheat people out of their money, you would have to disobey. However, those kind of situations will probably not happen in your family. I don’t think you have to worry about it.
Your Parents. Paul tells children they must obey both Mom and Dad. That’s why in the next verse he says, “Honor your father and mother.” As kids, we figured out really quick who was the stricter disciplinarian. If your Dad is stricter than your Mom, that doesn’t give you the right to disobey your Mom, because you think she won’t spank you. You are to obey both your Mom and your Dad in all things.
Application.
Children, obeying your parents means that you do what they tell you to do without arguing, stalling, or challenging them. It is first time obedience. Kids, I’ll tell you a little story, and you tell me whether it is obedience or not. Mom tells you to to stop playing your game on your Play Station 4, and come set the table. Well you are totally engrossed in your game, so when Mom asks you to come set the table you say, “OK, just a minute.” Pretty soon Mom has to ask you again. You say, “OK, give me a second.” This goes on and on, and after calling you four times, Mom comes in with a wooden spoon with fire in her eyes. You jump up and run into the kitchen, and set the table in a hurry, but you forget to put out the knives and the napkins, because you are so anxious to get back to your game. Is that obedience? No! True obedience is immediate and cheerful. Obedience is when your Mom asks you to get up and set the table, and you say, “Yes Mom.” Then when you have set the table you ask her, “Is there anything else I can help you with Mom?” If you do not obey the first time with a good attitude, you are not obeying.
Children, how are you supposed to obey? At all times, and in every situation. That means when your Mom or Dad tells you to get ready for bed. It refers to when your parents tell you to eat your vegetables. It is speaking about when they tell you to clean up your room, or pick up your toys, or put your dirty clothes or towel in the hamper. It’s talking about when they tell you to get off the telephone, or turn off the TV. It’s about when they tell you not to listen to a certain kind of music, or go to a certain movie that all the other kids are listening to or watching. If you are an older child, it is talking about when they tell you what time you must be home. It’s talking about when or they decide you are able to have your own cell phone.
HONOR
One of 10 Commandments. Paul finds his authority for telling children to obey their parents in one of the 10 Commandments. It is the 5th commandment. Children are commanded to honor their father and their mother. Children, you don’t have to wonder how God feels about you honoring your parents. God Himself, wrote the 10 commandments on tablets of stone, and one of those commandments was for you to honor your mother and father.
Meaning of Honor. Now, what does it mean to honor your father and mother. What does it mean to honor your parents? It means to regard them highly, to show them respect, courtesy, and consideration.” Jesus said it even includes taking care of them in their old age.
Leviticus 19:2-3 says, “Speak to all the congregation of the sons of Israel and say to them, “You shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy. Every one of you shall reverence his mother and his father, and you shall keep My sabbaths; I am the Lord your God.” Did you hear that? One of the greatest marks of holiness is obedience to parents. Now, what does it mean to “reverence” your mother and father? It is an attitude of deep respect tinged with awe. We are in awe of the President or sports heroes. We are to have the same respect and awe for our parents.
Examples of Honoring Parents. Let me give you another example, and you tell me whether this child is honoring his parents. A five year old little boy is having dinner with his family, but he gets up and jumps up and down in his chair. Dad tells him to sit down and eat his dinner, but he doesn’t listen, but continues to stand up in his chair. Finally, Dad has to come over and gently push him back down into a sitting position. The little boy has a tantrum and shouts, “I may be sitting down on the outside, but I’m still standing up on the inside!” That little boy is now doing what his Dad told him to do, but is he honoring his father? No, not at all! You see, your attitude is just as important as your actions. You can do the right things on the outside, but if you are not honoring your Mother and Father, the obedience means nothing.
Or, let’s say you are in the 6th grade, and you want to go see a movie that all your friends at school are watching. Your Dad comes to you and says, “I’ve done some research and read some reviews and I don’t think it would be good for you to watch that movie. There are things in it that would be hurtful to your soul. I will not allow you to watch that movie.” So, you don’t go to watch the movie. You don’t sneak out and go to the movies when they think you are in bed. But, the next day, you trash talk your Dad. You tell your friends how strict your Dad is, and how he never lets you do anything, and slander him. Is that honoring your Dad? Absolutely not. Obedience is not just the correct outward action. It is also the correct inward attitude.
Or, let’s say that you are 19 years old, and are a Sophomore in college. You have moved out on your own now, but find yourself in a lot of debt, and your grades are going downhill fast. When Mom and Dad find out, they try to give you some wise advice on money and time management. If you were to say, “Hey, I don’t have to listen to you any more. I’m living on my own. It’s my life. I can live it any way I want to.” Is that honoring your parents? Nope. You see, honoring your parents goes beyond the have to. Honoring your parents means you want to. When you move out and live on your own as your own man, you may not have to obey them, but you should want to show them honor and respect. You should give weight to their advice and counsel. They have valuable life experience and wisdom they have gleaned, which can be of great help to you.
Now, let’s move on to our next question.
2. Why Does God Command You To Do It?
There are three reasons why you should obey and honor your parents in this text – because it is right, because it is smart, and because it pleases the Lord.
BECAUSE IT IS RIGHT
Ephesians 6:1 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. There are certain things that every people of the world instinctively recognize to be right. Every culture understands it is wrong to rape and murder. Every culture understands it is wrong to neglect or abuse your children. And every culture understands it is wrong for children to disobey their parents. This knowledge is common sense. It is apparent to all peoples all over the world. It is the right thing to do. When children disobey their parents, it is wrong. When they obey, it is right. When we see a society like ours where disobedience to parents is rampant, it is a sign, not that God is going to judge us, but that He is already judging us. Our disobedience is a sign that God has given us over to our own folly. Romans 1 teaches that when people are given over to homosexuality and disobedience to parents it is a sign that God’s wrath is being revealed from heaven upon that people.
BECAUSE IT IS SMART
Ephesians 6:3 says, “so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” Paul here is quoting from Deuteronomy 5:16. The original promise was that “your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” Paul changed “land” to “earth.” Although the original commandment was given to the children of Israel and had to do with living in the land of Palestine, Paul applied this Old Testament Law universally to all people over the face of the earth.
So that it may be well with you. This was not intended to be an iron clad guarantee, but rather, a principle that generally holds true. We can probably all find obedient children that died young, and evil people that lived to old age. However, it is generally true, that a child who is obedient to his parents will enjoy a happy and fully life. Who are the children that die young in drunk driving accidents? Who are the ones who die of drug overdoses? Who are the children who grow up to be arrested and locked away in prison for 20 or 30 years? They are the disobedient children. Proverbs 15:5 says, “A fool rejects his father’s discipline, but he who regards reproof is sensible.” Children, listen to me. The Bible says that if you rebel against your parents authority, you are a fool! Furthermore, your foolishness, will bring great pain into your life. The second reason you should obey your parents is because it is smart. It is in your own best interests to do so.
It teaches them to obey God. One of the reasons why it is so important for you to obey your parents, is because that’s the way you will learn to obey God. You will never learn how to obey God whom you can’t see, unless you first learn to obey your parents who you can see. If a child grows up, never learning to obey God, he is in for a life of pain and misery! How many of you want to live a miserable and painful life, and then die young? Just continue to disobey your parents, and you may just end up there!
Children, obeying your Mom and Dad is in your own best interests! It is just plain smart to obey your parents. It will lead to happiness in your life.
BECAUSE IT PLEASES CHRIST
Notice that little phrase in verse 1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord.” Now, what is that phrase referring to? It doesn’t mean, “Children obey your parents, if they are in the Lord.” That would mean that if a child had parents who were not Christians he would not have to obey them. I suggest to you that it means the very same thing that we have in 5:22 and 6:5 – “as to the Lord” and “as to Christ.” Children, obey your parents as to the Lord. In other words, this phrase means that children are to obey their parents because by doing so they are obeying Jesus Christ. Here Paul gives the greatest possible motivation to obedience – not just because it is right, and not just because it will generally lead to a long and happy life. The greatest motivation is because it pleases your Savior!
Listen to how some modern translations translate this verse.
The New Living Translation: “Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord,”
Good News Translation: “Children, obey your parents because you are Christians.”
Holman Christian Standard Bible: “Children, obey your parents as you would the Lord.”
Do you sense the flavor of these verses. Children you are to obey your parents because in this way you are serving and obeying Jesus Christ Himself. Children are to obey their parents because they belong to the Lord, because of their relationship to the Lord, because it is pleasing to the Lord. Colossians 3:20, says “Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.” That’s the idea.
Children, if you are truly Christian, you will want to please Jesus Christ, your Savior. And there is nothing that will please Him more, than when you immediately and cheerfully obey your parents. The Lord loves it when He sees children obey like that. One of the most solid evidences of grace in a child’s life is a new desire and new determination to obey his or her parents. One of the things that should cause a child to question whether he belongs to Christ, is a pattern of disobedience to his parents.
So, there are three reasons to obey your parents kids: it is right, it is smart, and it is pleasing to Christ.
Conclusion
Children, you need to obey your parents. However, you will struggle and fail over and over until God saves you. You need a new heart. You need to become a new creature.
Kids, do you know for sure that you belong to Jesus Christ? Have you experienced God’s saving grace in your life? Has He ever came into your life and changed your heart? Has He put within you a strong desire to please Him? Do you love Him?
Please think about this more seriously than you ever have. Do you belong to Jesus Christ? Are you a Christian? I’m not asking you if you have two Christian parents, or own a Bible, or go to church. I’m asking if Christ has caused you to be born again, and transformed your life.
You will stand before God one day to be judged and you will stand alone. If you have been found to be one who repented, and trusted in Jesus Christ, and gave evidence of this by a transformed life, you will find mercy on that day. If, however, you were never renewed and converted, you will face God’s judgment. Kids, God’s judgment will be more severe to those people who had more knowledge. If you have Christian parents, you have much greater knowledge than most people in this world.
I call on you to trust in Jesus Christ. Commit your life to Him, and begin to follow Him. God invites you to come to Christ, and trust Him to save you. Will you do that? Let’s pray.
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