What should unmarried people seriously consider before deciding to get married? Paul gives counsel considering this very issue in this passage. He says they need to consider the present distress, the fact that the time has been shortened, the truth that marriage will bring new distractions, and the fact that marriage is permanent until your spouse dies.
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Teaching Notes:
Paul’s Counsel to the Unmarried
1 Corinthians 7:25-40
Having given his counsel to the married in 7:1-16, Paul now turns his attention to the unmarried and addresses them.
Counsel To Virgins:
1. Before You Marry Consider The Present Distress: 7:25-28
25 – I have no command of the Lord: Paul is merely saying that Jesus gave no teaching on this issue while in His earthly ministry.
26 – the present distress: we don’t know what Paul was referring to. Paul is probably referring to the persecution that Christians were facing. Many had been arrested, beaten, imprisoned and even killed for their faith. Jesus had said, “an hour is coming for everyone who kills you to think that he is offering service to God.” (Jn.16:12). In view of the difficult times in which believers were living, Paul’s counsel is that it was good for them to remain as they were. The difficulties are multiplied for a married person during times of persecution. If Paul had a wife and children, he would be anxious as to who would take care of them if he were killed, and they would be constantly worried about him.
28 – but if you should marry, you have not sinned: marriage is good, and honorable, and the will of God for most men and women. Of course it is not a sin to marry. Paul is merely trying to help them avoid the troubles that will accompany the married state during times of distress.
I am trying to spare you: Paul was not giving this counsel as heavy-handed Law to put some kind of legalistic trip on them. He had their best interests at heart. He wanted them to be spared greater difficulty and grief.
2. Before You Marry Consider That The Time Has Been Shortened: 7:29-31
29 the time has been shortened: We are not sure exactly what Paul had in mind. Some conjecture that he believed Christ was going to return at any time, that eternity was ready to break in upon these believers. Or, he may simply be referring to the fact that all of us are a hair’s breadth away from stepping out of time into eternity. Christ could return at any time, or we could die at any time. Time is short. In view of this perspective, he gives counsel concerning marriage, emotions, and possessions (or money). Basically Paul’s counsel is that they should not be preoccupied with these things, but rather on the things of eternity. Of course Paul knows that there is nothing wrong with relationships, emotions, and money. But if we focus on them, rather than on eternity, and serving Christ, we are the ones who miss out. Interestingly, these are the very 3 things that Christians tend to focus on. Take a look at what kinds of books are being sold at your local Christian book store. Typically they focus on 1) marriage and the family; 2) your emotions (being happy or overcoming grief), or 3) how to deal with your money and possessions.
31 – For the form of this world is passing away: the world will pass away when Christ returns. When you die, this world has passed away to you. How then should we live, knowing that the world is passing away? Live for eternity. “Only 1 life, will soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.”
3. Before You Marry Consider The Distractions of the Married State: 7:32-35
32 – Free from concern: Paul is talking here about the “concerns of the world”, the concern to please his/her spouse. When a person marries, he will never be an independent person again. Henceforth, he must take his wife’s feelings into consideration when making decisions. You may have a heart for missions, but unless your wife has the same heart, you shouldn’t go. However the single person can be single focused on serving the Lord.
35 – This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you: Paul wasn’t interested in laying some kind of heavy handed law upon them. He was interested in their welfare and benefit. Paul believed that this counsel would be helpful for them, not a hindrance.
To promote what is seemly, to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord: The single person has a great advantage over the married person in this respect – he/she can be totally undistracted in their service to Christ. To Paul, this was “seemly.” It seemed good and right, although not necessary.
Counsel To The Fathers Of Virgins: 7:36-38
36 – But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter: This section of the epistle is fraught with interpretational difficulties. There are at least 3 possible ways Paul meant this paragraph.
1) A man’s relationship to his virgin fiancé: The NLT puts it this way: “But if a man thinks he ought to marry his fiancée because he has trouble controlling his passions and time is passing, it is all right; it is not a sin. Let them marry. But if he has decided firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry.”
2) A man’s relationship to his virginity: The Darby version puts it this way: “But if any one think that he behaves unseemly to his virginity, if he be beyond the flower of his age, and so it must be, let him do what he will, he does not sin: let them marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, having no need, but has authority over his own will, and has judged this in his heart to keep his own virginity, he does well. So that he that marries himself does well; and he that does not marry does better.” In this view, Paul is saying essentially what he has already stated in 7:8-9.
3) A man’s relationship to his virgin daughter: This is the position of the KJV and the NASB. Notice that “daughter” is in italics, meaning it has been supplied by the translators. The KJV does not even include it. In the 1st century, marriages were arranged by the parents. Paul may have in mind the situation of a father who makes a vow to God that he will raise up his daughter to be solely devoted to the Lord. However, if your relationship is flaring up between you and your virgin daughter because you have decided she should not marry, but she wants to get married, and so you are acting “unbecomingly” toward her, go ahead and let her marry. You have not sinned.
Now there are your 3 choices. It is difficult to choose between them. Each one is possible grammatically. Each has some problems with it. You’ll have to decide which one seems more probable to you. As for myself, I find myself leaning towards the view that this is a man and his virgin daughter.
Counsel To Widows
39 – A wife is bound as long as her husband lives: perhaps some widows in the Corinthian church were asking Paul if they were free to remarry.
She is free to be married to whom she wishes: Notice how what Paul says here compares to what many Christians believe. Many feel that there is one special person out there amongst the 6 billion in the world that is the “right one” or the one “God has chosen” for them. Paul’s counsel is not to marry the one God has chosen for them, but to marry they one they want! There is only 1 exception. This person must be a Christian. However, they are free to marry any Christian they want to marry. This text just shows how much liberty God has given to us in decision making. We are to follow wise guidance from Biblical principles, but in the end we are free to make any decision as long as it is in line with the moral will of God expressed in Scripture.
40 – But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is: Paul found great contentment and happiness in the single state in his undistracted devotion to and serving of the Lord. He recommended singleness for this very reason, and felt that the widow would be happier if she just served the Lord with her time. Think of Anna, the prophetess who spent 50 or 60 years fasting and praying and seeking the Lord in the temple! (Lu.2:36-38).
Life Application:
Unmarried people, there are several things you need to seriously consider before marrying:
1. Will marrying cause anxiety and concern for you and your family in view of persecution and distress? This is not a major concern presently in the U.S., but it is a concern in other parts of the world.
2. In light of the fact that eternity can break in upon us at any moment, do you want to marry or live in singleness?
3. In light of the care, concern, time and effort it takes to pour into the marriage relationship, do you want to marry or live in undistracted devotion to the Lord?
4. In light of the fact that marriage is for life and is binding and permanent, do you want to marry?
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