There was a group of married believers in Corinth who believed that it was more “spiritual” to remain celibate in their marriage than enjoying normal physical relations. Tune in to see what God’s will is for married couples concerning their sexual relationship.

Teaching Notes:

God’s Will Concerning Sex in Marriage

1 Corinthians 7:1-7

Vs. 1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, The Corinthians had written Paul a previous letter. Now that Paul has responded to the report of problems he had heard from Chloe’s people, (including division, incest, lawsuits, and men going to prostitutes) he begins to answer the issues that the Corinthians had raised in their letter to him. The first issue Paul takes up is that of marriage, divorce, and singleness. When Paul says, “Now concerning…” he is almost certainly taking up the various items in their letter to him. This formula appears 5 more times (7:25; 8:1; 12:1; 16:1; 16:12).

2 Views of This Passage: The more traditional view of this passage sees Paul saying something like this: It is good for a man to be celibate like me. However because of the strong temptation toward immorality for a single man, he should rather get married. If someone does get married, these are the rules – each one must seek to bring sexual satisfaction to the other because neither one has authority over his or her own body any longer. The only time that they should cease from sexual relation is if both agree to temporarily devote themselves to prayer, and then they should resume normal relations quickly so that neither is tempted to adultery. Having said all of that, I really wish that all men were single like me, but I realize not all have the gift of celibacy.

Now, that is the more traditional view, and many godly and wise men embrace that view. However, I’m going to argue for a different view this morning. In order to do so, we are going to have to try to reconstruct the situation at Corinth.

It is good for a man not to touch a woman: Paul, here, is quoting or summarizing the Corinthians’ view on sex within marriage. They were saying, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman” and they were saying that this applied to married couples! How do I know? Vs.5 “Stop depriving one another.” Evidently, some of the Corinthians with an ascetic bent, believed that it was more spiritual for married persons to abstain from sex. When they said, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman” they were saying in essence, “It is more spiritual, it is more holy, it is more pleasing to the Lord” for husband and wife not to touch each other sexually. And they were not the only ones who have believed this. The Roman Catholics take this view when they require priests and nuns to be celibate. In order to qualify for the holy office of priest or nun, one must take a vow of celibacy, for only a very spiritual and holy persons is fit for these positions. But that is to say that sex in marriage is somehow less spiritual and holy than celibacy in marriage.

Does “not to touch a woman” mean “not to get married”? This expression occurs 9x in Greek antiquity, and in every instance it refers to having sexual intercourse. There was a verb in Greek for “get married” and Paul uses it in 7:9, however he does not use it here. Paul is saying that in their letter some were arguing that sexual abstinence within marriage was good and desirable.

Vs. 2 But because of immoralities: If Paul were merely anticipating the temptation toward immorality that single persons would face, he would not use the plural. However, if some of the married men had actually engaged in acts of sexual immorality, it would be natural to use the plural (immoralities). It seems the weight of evidence is on the latter. Some of the married men in the congregation had fallen into acts of sexual immorality. Well, what kind of sexual immorality? Paul has just told us in chapter 6:12-20. He uses the same Greek word “porneia” in 7:2 that he had used in 6:13 and 6:18 when he referred to men going to prostitutes. Evidently what was happening was that some of the married men were being deprived of sexual relations with their wives because the wife believed it was more spiritual and pleasing to the Lord to live a celibate life. This resulted in the husband going to a prostitute to fulfill his sexual desire.

Each man is to have his own wife and each woman is to have her own husband: Paul does not say the answer to this moral problem is for each man to get married. He says it is to “have” his own wife. The sentence could read, “each man is to be having his own wife.” Now, what does that expression mean? Well, we’ve already seen it in this letter. 1Cor.5:1 “someone has his father’s wife.” In that text, it means someone is engaging in sexual relations with his father’s wife. . Again in Mark 6:18 John the Baptist tells Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.” Or when Jesus addressed the woman at the well he said “for you have had 5 husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband” (Jn.4:18). In all these instances, to have another means to have sexual relations with that person. Thus, I believe Paul is saying that husbands and wives in marriage should be enjoying regular satisfying sexual relations in order to avoid the present disastrous problems of the men going to prostitutes.

Vs. 3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife: what duty is Paul referring to? Making sure they bring sexual fulfillment to their spouse. Many people find this language of Paul offensive. The ascetic finds it offensive because he sees abstinence as morally and spiritually preferable. It is offensive to the liberated person because they see “duty” as a demeaning way to speak of such a relationship. However, some were depriving their spouses of sex, and for the sake of the marriage Paul needed to bring out the “duty” aspect. However, the emphasis is not on “You owe me”, but on “I owe you.”

Vs. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does… When a man and woman marry, they give up the right to do with their body as they wish. If you want to retain the right to do with you body as you wish, stay single! But if you marry, you become “one flesh” with that other person, and they now have authority over your body, and you have authority over their body.

Vs. 5 Stop depriving one another…Although this verse can mean “Never deprive” or “do not deprive”, its ordinary meaning would be “Stop depriving.” “Deprive” is the same word used in 1Cor.6:8 for the man who had “defrauded” his brother. It is a word that refers to taking away what rightfully belongs to another. When one spouse withholds sex from the other, they are taking away what rightfully belongs to them.

Except by agreement for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer: Here Paul concedes (yields) to their viewpoint on sexual abstinence, but only under 2 conditions. This abstinence must be 1) mutually agreed upon by both spouses; and 2) temporary.

Come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control: The reason they must stop depriving one another is so that it won’t put their spouse under the temptations of Satan

Vs.6 But this I say by way of concession, not of command: Paul is saying here that his advice on abstinence during intense times of prayer was not a command to do so, but a conceding to their own desires.

Vs.7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.” Having spoken of the marriage state and it being God’s will for each spouse to give themselves regularly and unselfishly to the other in intimacy, Paul says that he wishes that all men were celibate like himself. However he recognizes that all men can’t be like him, because all men haven’t received the same gift (of celibacy) that he has received. Therefore, it is not more or less pleasing to the Lord to be married than it is to be single. Each state is perfectly acceptable to God. We need to discover whether God has gifted us with celibacy or not. If not, then we need to live with our spouse according to the counsel Paul has laid out in 7:1-6.

Life Application:

1. To Those Who Are Single:

• Seek to discover whether God has gifted you with singleness. Can you be content to live without fulfilling your sexual needs? If so, God is probably calling you to a life of celibacy, where you can serve the Lord without distraction (vs.32-34).
• Realize that if you do marry, you give up the right to do with your body as you please. It becomes the possession of your spouse. He or she has the right over it from that point on.

2. To Those Who Are Married:

• Realize that sexual abstinence is not more “spiritual”. In fact, if you engage in sexual abstinence, you are not doing the will of your Father in heaven! The will of your father in heaven is that you give yourself to your spouse regularly and unselfishly. To deprive your spouse of sex is sin. However, we must not use this text as a baseball bat to clobber our spouses. Rather we should use it to remind ourselves that have a debt to our spouse.
• Realize that regular sexual relations with our spouse will provide a great deterrent against Satan’s temptations in their life. If a husband or wife constantly deprives their spouse of sexual intimacy, it will make it much harder for them to resist Satan’s temptations.

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