How are we to love one another in the Church? Paul answers that question with 5 short exhortations in Romans 12:9, 10, 13. We are to love sincerely, affectionately, selflessly, generously and hospitably.

Brotherly Love

Romans 12:9, 10, 13

We are in the midst of Romans 12. As I told you last time, I believe Romans 12 answers the question, “What is the church supposed to look like?”  Well, there are many ways we could answer that question. Verses 3-8 tell us that every member of the church is to serve the rest by exercising their spiritual gifts.  Well, here in verses 9, 10, and 13, we learn that the church is to be radically committed to one another in love.

In verses 9-13, Paul gives 13 exhortations in rapid fire order:

1. Let love be without hypocrisy
2. Abhor what is evil
3. Cling to what is good
4. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love
5. Give preference to one another in honor
6. Not lagging behind in diligence
7. Fervent in spirit
8. Serving the Lord
9. Rejoicing in hope
10. Persevering in tribulation
11. Devoted to prayer
12. Contributing to the needs of the saints
13. Practicing hospitality

This morning I want to examine five of those exhortations. Each one of them has to do with how we should relate to one another in the church.  What does true brotherly love look like? Paul answers that with five exhortations:

1. Let love be without hypocrisy
2. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love
3. Give preference to one another in honor
4. Contributing to the needs of the saints
5. Practicing hospitality

These five statements tell us five things about the kind of love that should exist in the church between all believers. Their love for one another should be Sincere – Affectionate – Self-forgetful – Generous – Hospitable.

Let’s spend some time meditating on each one.

1. A Sincere Love

Romans 12:9, “Let love be without hypocrisy.” 

Brotherly love in the church is to be unhypocritical or sincere. Sometimes we misunderstand what hypocrisy is. We think that if a person says one thing and does another he is a hypocrite. We think that hypocrisy is failing to practice what we preach. That is not necessarily hypocrisy.  Through the weakness of the flesh, we have all said one thing and done another, but that doesn’t make us a hypocrite. A hypocrite is a person who pretends to be one thing, when he is really another. In other words, he seeks to give the impression that he is loving and holy and devout, when he is really not. He seeks to deceive others for his own ends. In Luke 13:10-15, Jesus laid his hands on a woman who had been bent double for 18 years, and healed her. The synagogue official was indignant because Jesus had healed on the Sabbath. So he said, “There are six days in which work should be done; so come during them and get healed, and not on the Sabbath day.”  But the Lord answered him and said, “You hypocrites, does not each of you on the Sabbath untie his ox or his donkey from the stall and lead him away to water him?”

Why does the Lord call the synagogue official a hypocrite? Because he was pretending to have great devotion and reverence for the Sabbath day, but when it profited him was quick to break the Sabbath. A man’s ox or donkey represented his livelihood, his profits. If his animals got sick and died for lack of water, he would lose his profits. So, he was quite willing to break the Sabbath in order to lead his animals away to water them, but was unwilling for Jesus to heal this woman who was bent double for 18 years!  Jesus called that hypocrisy. He was pretending to be one thing, while he was really another. He was criticizing Jesus for doing something that he did himself.

Now, what would a hypocritical act look like?  Jesus helps us here.

1) A hypocritical act is one in which we emphasize the external rather than the internal. Jesus said in Matthew 23:25,27 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence… Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.”  Hypocrisy brought forth Jesus’ wrath. When He said, “woe to you” He was saying “cursed are you!”  The professing Christian who only emphasizes the external while neglecting the internal will be brought under the judgment of Christ.

Jesus said in Matthew 15:7, “You hypocrites, rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you: ‘This people honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far away from Me.”  Jesus call that person a hypocrite who gives praise with their lips without praise from their heart.

2) A hypocritical act is one which we perform in order to gain the approval of man, rather than the approval of God. At its root, hypocrisy desires others to make much of us. We want others to admire us, love us, esteem us and praise us. We know this because Jesus said in Matthew 6:2,5,16, “So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full… When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full… Whenever you fast, do not put on a gloomy face as the hypocrites do, for they neglect their appearance so that they will be noticed by men when they are fasting. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.”  Jesus speaks of three forms of service to God – giving charity, prayer, and fasting. He says that if you perform those external actions in order to gain the praise of man, you are a hypocrite, and you will have no reward from God!

Brothers and sisters, let your love be without hypocrisy. We should not always be talking about how we love one another if we are unwilling to inconvenience ourselves to help one another. Don’t talk about how you love one another if you are simply trying to get others to have a good impression of you. The apostle John says in 1 John 3:16-18, “We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.”  The hypocrite loves in word and tongue. He professes to love all of God’s people, but will not actually do anything sacrificially to demonstrate that love. He pretends to be a loving person, while he is actually a very selfish, unloving person. Don’t be that guy! If you say that you love other believers, then you must be willing to walk the talk, lay down your life for them, and open up your wallet to help them when they are in need.

And don’t do loving acts so that other people will think well of you. Do loving acts because this will please God. Be much more concerned about what God thinks than what people think.

2. An Affectionate Love

Romans 12:10, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love”

The word for “devoted” is a word that means “tender affection.”  Modern translations are pretty much split between translating this as “devoted” and “affectionate.”  This is the only time the word is found in the New Testament. As far as we can tell, the word is describing the type of love a mother has for her baby, or the kind of love a Dad has for his daughter. In other words, Paul would be saying, “love the brethren in the faith as though they were brothers by blood.” Love your spiritual family like you love your earthly family.

Brothers and sisters, we are commanded to love one another tenderly and affectionately. We are to have warm feelings and thoughts when we think of one another. We are to be as close or even closer than our blood family. The wonderful thing is that I can honestly say that’s how I feel about you all. All of you have a special place in my heart. I feel a fondness and a tenderness when I think of all of you. Of course all of us have our faults and shortcomings, and we can irritate each other. But in spite of that, there is a bond in Christ that draws us together, and gives us a tender affection for each other.

That’s why it is so natural for us to have open displays of affection when we greet each other – handshakes, backslaps, fistbumps, bearhugs.  The church is not an occasional gathering of strangers or acquaintances. The church is a regular gathering of family members.  Our church meetings should look more like a Family Reunion than people sitting in a building to watch a movie.

Do you have a tender affection for your brothers and sisters?  I truly hope you do.

3. A Selfless Love

Romans 12:10 “give preference to one another in honor”

Folks, this is one of the most beautiful things you will ever see in the body of Christ. It is so unnatural. All people are dominated by selfishness and pride. They want people to make much of them. They want to be exalted. They want their own way, and are upset when they don’t get it.  This exhortation is calling us to do the exact opposite. The ESV puts it this way, “Outdo one another in showing honor.”  Paul is telling us that we should not be wanting people to honor us. Instead, we should be desirous of heaping honor on others.

The reason for most church fights and squabbles and splits is pride and selfishness. We want our own way. We want to be first. We want to be honored. And when that doesn’t happen, we’ll either fight, or pick up our marbles and go home. But this exhortation calls us to die to self, to pride, and to take joy and delight in seeing others lifted up.

This is a selfless love. It is self-forgetful. Instead of thinking about ourselves, this kind of love thinks about Christ and others, and finds joy in that.  Paul taught us in Philippians 2:3, “do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves…”

This is giving the last piece of apple pie to your brother. This is giving others an opportunity to shine by sharing the Word. This is delighting to talk of how the Lord is using someone else, rather than tooting your own horn.  Can you imagine what it would be like if all of us were trying to outdo one another in showing honor to each other?  That’s what heaven will be like!

I’ll be a little transparent here. For years I had been the one teaching the Word almost every single week. Well, that has changed. About 4 years ago, the Wade family joined the Bridge, and within a year, Jerome was ordained as an elder.  Shortly after that he began to preach. It wasn’t long until we were sharing the pulpit 50/50.  Usually I will preach two weeks, and then Jerome will preach two weeks. When we first started this arrangement, it was a little difficult, because I saw my life’s calling as teaching the Word. However, I have come to experience the beauty and joy of honoring my brother, and receiving the truth of the Word through him. And, I would dare say, all of you have become richer spiritually because of his ministry among us. In the end, it’s not about us. It’s about honoring Christ and one another that is really important.

When we honor one another it shows that the very nature of Jesus Christ is in us. Why? Because Jesus has honored us. We had infinitely dishonored Him. Yet, he came from heaven, partook of our human nature, and then died in our place to lift us from the ash heap to glory. And when He comes again, He says in Luke 12:37, “He will gird himself to serve, and have them recline at the table, and will come up and wait on them.”  My friends, if you can’t stoop to honor someone else, you are not like Jesus Christ at all.

So my question to you is, are you giving preference to one another in honor?

4. A Generous Love

Romans 12:13 “contributing to the needs of the saints”

This is describing how we are to help one another in need.  When another brother or sister is in need, we should naturally yearn to help them. Remember John’s words, “but whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?”

If your brother needs a car, and you have an extra, you ought to offer it to him. If your brother and sister need some time alone, we should offer to babysit for them. If they are unemployed, we should help them with their rent or food.

Recently there was a brother in our church who was unable to go to work for a period of time. Five men in the church called his landlord, and paid his rent for the month. I have known others who gave up their car to someone who had a greater need than they did. And when they did this, they didn’t go around telling everyone else. They didn’t do it to gain the approval of others. They did it for the Lord, seeking His approval.

This applies also to our brothers and sisters in other parts of the world. When we learned that the church in Vietnam was suffering hunger because so many were out of work, we took up an offering and sent it to them. That is normal Christianity – 98.6.

Brothers and sisters, are you displaying a generous love to your brothers and sisters in Christ? Are you contributing to their needs? Again, if you are, you are looking like Jesus. We were so very needy, spiritually needy. We needed redemption. We had suffered the Fall, and were headed to eternal destruction. But Jesus intervened, and stood as our Mediator, to rescue us from sin and Satan and death and hell. He more than met our needs. When you and I contribute to the needs of the saints, we look a lot like Jesus!

5. A Hospitable Love

Romans 12:13 “practicing hospitality”

So, exactly what is hospitality?  The word means “friendliness to strangers.”  It refers to a willingness to invite people into your home who do not live there. And the word “practicing” literally means “pursuing.”  So being hospitable is not something we do once or twice a year on Thanksgiving and Christmas. It is something that we should be ready and eager to do all the time.  We might think that hospitality is just a little fringe subject in the Bible.

A widow was to be financially supported only if she had shown hospitality to strangers. A man was only qualified to be an Elder in the church if he was hospitable. Peter tells us we must be hospitable to one another without complaint (1 Pet. 4:9), meaning we must do this cheerfully. This is not just a command to do something. It is a command to do something with a certain attitude. It is a command to be a certain kind of person. We are not to invite others into our home and then grumble about the extra work we have to do to cook and clean for them. We are to show hospitality graciously. And Hebrews 13:2 tells us “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.”  Interestingly we are told not to neglect hospitality. Evidently, hospitality is something that is easy to neglect. We are so naturally self-centered, that it is very easy for us to neglect hospitality. We need the power of the Holy Spirit to break free from a me-centered existence, and think more of Christ and others.

But, my question to you is why is hospitality so important to God? Does hospitality have anything to do with God? The answer is a resounding Yes! You see, God is hospitable toward us. We were strangers to the covenants of promise. We were children of wrath, sons of disobedience, children of the devil. Yet God welcomed us into His home! He extended sovereign grace, and was friendly to strangers. He gave us a home in His everlasting kingdom. And if we belong to God, we will seek to be like Him. We are partakers of the divine nature. If we have been recipients of God’s great hospitality, we will desire to show that hospitality to others.

So, my friends, are you practicing (pursuing) hospitality?  I know that with the whole coronavirus situation, we are limited in what we can and should do. However, when we are able to freely invite others into our home in the future, we need to do so.

I want to challenge all of you to open your homes, and invite others in. Maybe it’s once a week. Maybe it’s once a month. But pursue hospitality. Demonstrate by your hospitality that you are sons of the God who has shown hospitality to you.

Are you practicing hospitality?

Conclusion

Brothers and sisters, this is what the church is supposed to look like – a community in which we demonstrate sincere, affectionate, selfless, generous and hospitable love to one another.

I will just end with reading 1 Thessalonians 4:9, “Now as to the love of the brethren, you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another; for indeed you do practice it toward all the brethren who are in all Macedonia. But we urge you, brethren, to excel still more!”

Bridge family, let’s excel still more at loving one another!

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